The shoes on his feet

It is unbelievable the train of thought a pair of shoes can initiate.

She was in the office again, for getting caught skipping class this time, and her father had been summoned by the principal. Nonchalant, she pushed at her cuticles and played with the loose strands of her hair. She was restlessly tapping her feet at an imaginary melody when her father arrived with a concerned expression on his face. Their eyes met and she smiled, to which he did not respond.

They waited quietly until the secretary beckoned them into the principal's room. Her father entered first and she followed behind. He took a chair opposite the principal's desk and she sat down on the sofa three feet behind his chair.

'Ah, Mr. Abbasi! I wish I could say it was nice to see you but as you know this is not something to be cheerful about. We are very sorry to have called you while you were on call but I felt this was something that needed to be dealt with immediately. This is the third time this week your daughter has been out of class..' Mrs. Wasim started off quite to the point.

With her face out of the principal's view, Runa rolled her eyes and made faces animatedly as the Mrs. Wasim spoke. She moved her lips to the words that came out of the principal's mouth and watched her father's shadow on the floor nod its head. Distracted, she began to trace his shadow starting from his head, moving down to the neck and then the shoulders which became part of the shadow of the chair. Having lost the rest of the shadow, she began to trace the chair instead, completely tuning out the conversation between the two adults in the room. First the back legs, then the front legs and an additional pair of legs that belonged to her father. Her finger followed the edges of her father's pants which were slightly folded up around his bare ankles and she noticed he had no socks on. Startled, her hand fell into her lap yet yet with her eyes she took in the wear and tear so evident on his suede shoes. Shoes that her mother had gifted him on their 12th wedding anniversary, which was when three years ago? A pair of shoes from three years ago?

Runa began counting the pair of shoes she had purchased since last year and the number was as many as the amount of fingers on her hand. As she did so, she caught a glimpse of his shoe sole which slightly came apart s he leaned forward to listen to the principal's voice as it grew hushed. Her eyes began to tear up as she glanced at her own pair of school shoes, which she had gotten after quite an emotional tantrum, threatening her parents to not go to school if she wasn't bought new shoes. And so she began to think of all the ways her father had been there for her, with unconditional love, care and concern while she had been blinded by her own needs and wants.

She realized she had been quite oblivious to how hard he worked day in and day out to be able to ensure she slept with a full stomach, and had a proper education. She recalled all those times he had agreed to family outings even though he had been out all night on duty. She remembered how he would take time out to pick and drop her to school and other social events just to ensure she reached safely and did not have to worry about the hassle of using public transport. A fancy mirror on the wall behind the principal caught her eye and it was angled such that she was able to see her father's reflection in it. He suddenly appeared to be very old and weak. Had those white hair been there before? She noticed the bags under his eyes and guessed his duty lasted several hours into the night. His wrinkled forehead depicted years of worrying about things she had no clue about. Her education expenses. Car maintenance. Renovation of the house. Gas, electricity, water and phone bills. Politics at work.

She let her head hang in shame as she realized how worthless she was to him as a daughter. A teardrop found its way out and fell onto her uniform. She tried to swallow the lump in her throat but to no avail. The shadow moved on the floor and she realized it was her father getting up. She quickly wiped her eyes before the principal could see her and decided at that instant what her next steps would be.