Dude, where's my winter break?

10 days of winter break went by too quickly. I had intended to do so much but then got busy in other 'engagements' and so there's work piled up for the last day of winter break.

Yumna, thy name is procrastination.

A bit of rain, a bit of sun

The last week has been hellish, OK that's an overstatement, but it really was torture. From Wednesday to Friday, I would start feeling unusually cold in the evenings and then would catch a really high fever. In the mornings I would be fine. Then on Saturday, the day of my convocation, I threw up roughly an hour before reaching the venue.

Battling mindsets.

So the 4th grade class teacher, who had been on sick leave for a while, returned to school at the end of September. One day, she decided to drop by her classroom as I taught. She offered to write for me on the board and I tell her that first I need to explain the concept to the students and she looked at me like I was nuts and went, 'Why bother with THAT?'

Crazy days!

In the classroom, there are around 40 kids but I’m all alone. Why, you ask? Well, the majority of the forty will do all sorts of things that will make it extremely hard for you to get through with the lesson. 

Three weeks and counting..

It has been almost a month at the school and so much has happened. I think I should put everything under headings to make things easier to read.

Better days

Students showed up alas in the first week. There are around 15-20 in 3rd grade and around 25 in 4th grade. The days start off with an assembly conducted by the principal herself at around 7.40 a.m. There are hardly any teachers present at that time. We three fellows are usually the first ones to arrive among the staff. We listen to a naat or qirat being recited, followed by Iqbal's Dua and the national anthem. The students then go to their respective classes. 

Back to school was never this bad..

The first day of school on Saturday was a bit of a disappointment. After the MAO experience, I was expecting that plenty of kids would be standing in and around my school, eager for school to begin but not a single kid was there. We had arrived even before the principal and had to wait for her to come in and open the locks.

Aam aur saib ki kahani..

The first few days at summer school we spent part of our free time talking to the students there. One of the students who worked as a fruit vendor, told me about his job. He sells watermelons along with his brothers at the local sabzi mandi (fruit/vegetable market). The other kids tease him, saying there are rats in the produce he sells.

Little Lessons

It’s funny how some of life’s lessons are taught to you by the very people who need to be hearing them from you. 

The parting of the ways..

The last day of summer school actually required planning, i.e. what we were going to do with the students and when. The plan then had to be approved by our FDOs. The day started off pretty normal. When we got to school we saw as usual many students outside of school waiting eagerly for our bus to turn up. Most were in casual clothes, some had presents in hand. Assembly was conducted this day as well and the students were reminded that this was the last day and that they should take care of cleanliness in their classrooms. 

After assembly they filed into class and we told them what the day is going to be like.

Memorable conversations

Student: Teacher ball dedo

Me: Nae, kho gai tou?

Student: Teacher dedo, nae khoe gi

Me: Nae

Again, another day:

Student: Teacher ball dedo

Me: Nae aj main nae lai

Student: Main tou laya hun (takes out his own tennis ball)

Me: Arey wah! Mujhe dedena main class mein use kerlungi

Student: Nae, kho gai tou?

We found love in MAO.

At the entrance. (Courtesy: MZ)

Turning into the school alley we’d see a good number of children eagerly waiting outside the school. They would scream with delight at the sight of our van and would run alongside it as we made our way to the building. When we’d get off, they would just stand there in a line against a wall and look up at us with smiles on their faces.

Nighttime

'Why are their clouds at night and not in the hot summer days when we need them more?' I asked out loud.

'Hmm?' my mother replied absentmindedly from the front seat.

We were on our way home from university from where I had been picked after a 2.5 hour long exam. We had stopped on the way at a mall and had dinner too, and by the end of it my knees ached terribly and I yearned for a good long sleep. 

I looked up out of the car window at the clouds drifting before the moon, causing its brilliant face to disappear in the process. There was a nice breeze that night that kept them moving at their hurried pace. The moon emerged again only to be taken over by more strands of wispy grey matter. A small thought crossed my head as I gazed up at the dark night:

'And out of His mercy He made for you the night and the day that you may rest therein and [by day] seek from His bounty and [that] perhaps you will be grateful.' (28:73)

When we reached home, there was no electricity. We groaned at the realization as we got out of the car and headed inside. Another humid night of sleeplessness, mosquito bites and sweat-drenched clothes.

After changing, I was out like a light (quite literally). With both the windows of my room open to allow for cross ventilation, the place was strangely cool and airy. Our room is normally among the hottest in our house. With three sides facing the sun on the outside throughout the day, it absorbs all the heat and then releases it inwards during the evening and night. The fan struggles to run and so the major source of air is the two windows situated strategically, with mosquito nets covering them from the outside.

When I woke up the next morning after a good night's sleep, I realized I had the answer to the question I had posed the night before. The electricity hadn't returned till 3 am that night but its absence wasn't really felt because of the cloudy, breezy weather outside. I couldn't help but be grateful for this blessing and even more for the realization of this blessing as both were from Him.

Active Citizens Workshop

Over winter break I had gotten myself registered for the Active Citizens workshop organized by British Council and Shell Tameer. It was a four-day long interactive workshop and was very effectively managed. I’d say it was one of those things I’m glad to have been a part of since there was a lot of learning involved.

Over winter break I had gotten myself registered for the Active Citizens workshop organized by British Council and Shell Tameer. It was a four-day long interactive workshop and was very effectively managed. I’d say it was one of those things I’m glad to have been a part of since there was a lot of learning involved.

The facilitator for the first day was Mr. Imran Azeem who is the Training & Development Manager at Shell Pakistan Ltd. He immediately had us on our feet by making use of interactive activities that helped us get familiar with the different participants. For instance, there was this sheet which we had to get filled in 5 minutes which had statements like ‘Find someone who has lived in a foreign country’ or ‘Find someone who knows a musician,’ etc. So we ran about asking each other their names just to get our sheets filled lest we be put on public demand. Public demand, or PD as it came to be known, was the wrath people had to face when they were unable to meet instructions. They’d be forced into singing a song or poem, and other such embarrassing things. Then we had the ‘Cover Story’ activity, where groups of 4-5 people had to come up with a project that could earn them much acclaim in the media in the future. Our group came up with a cycling marathon across different regions of Karachi which would help unite the city’s people and so we made a news story for that and acted it out for a new report.

Then we took a break for lunch where we had delicious chicken karahi and cold drinks. Returning from break, we went deeper into the theme of ‘individuality,’ and each one of us drew a self-portrait and wrote about ten things that are closest to our heart.  The speaker for the day had arrived. Shiraz Ahmed who is also a lecturer at CBM spoke to us about the importance of knowing our purpose of life. When he asked around, it was surprising to see how many of us were unsure of it or had settled for so little in life. It was a question that requires much deliberation and the answer to it can shape our entire life into a more concrete structure.

On the second day we started off with an activity that should have been done the day before. The exercise was such that we managed to learn each other’s names by the end of it. Mr. Imran informed us that the speaker scheduled for that day would not be coming because he had met with an unfortunate accident. So we continued without him. Another activity we did was ‘Complete the story’ where one person starts off a story and the next person adds his bit to it. The amusing story we came up with was about a wedding where the lights went out and bride ran away and the groom died and then was reincarnated (Start Plus much?)

We were then briefed about how we’re supposed to form groups and come up with a social action project that we’ll have to implement in order to get through the second stage of the workshop. After this we discussed the difference between debate and dialogue and then were divided into groups of four where through dialogue we were to come up with the four most important things needed for inter-cultural dialogue. The groups were then merged such that the new groups were groups of eight and then together they had to agree on the four most important dimensions. And then came the final merger where as one big group we had to arrive at the final four. After much dialogue we agreed to communication, flexibility, tolerance (and one more which I can’t remember). After returning from lunch (biryani this time), we were divided into two teams and had debates on the topics of ‘The Role of Media in Pakistan’ and ‘Bachay Do Hi Achay’.

The third day our facilitator was Mr. Saqib. He did an ice-breaker where we had to introduce ourselves by performing an action that was a part of our personality. So I had to say, ‘I’m Yumna and I like to walk’ as I walked from one place to another. Another activity was the ‘Pakao Pakao’ where each one of us had to say this phrase in a different tone of voice. Rather dull activity but still people managed to come up with innovative ways of saying the same words. This was followed by a game of Tom & Jerry, the details of which I’d much rather not go into. :P Since we were out of things to do and had some time on our hands, we indulged in a game of Dumb Charades which was the high point of the day. Movies like MI4, Mr. & Mrs. Smith, Haseena maan jaegi, Abduction & Inception were acted out for and it was quite interesting to watch the performances. Another interesting thing was the ‘Who Decides..?’ activity where we had to come up with answers to questions like ‘Who decides at what age to get married?’ and ‘Who decides what political/religious party one must follow?’

After lunch, we had an activity where we were each gives Rs.30 million and we could use that money to buy countries that were being presented before us. We had the option of pooling in money with any of the other participants and sharing the countries we purchased. I got Sudan for myself and later got to know that as a representative for Sudan, I would have to speak to the representatives of the richer countries, telling them how their activities are impacting my country’s environment and people. So I became Mozambique Mogadisu, the Sudani representative and lashed out at the developed countries. Other interesting performances were France’s indifferent stance and Pakistan’s determination for attaining self-sufficiency.

By day 4 we had chalked out a plan for our social action project. The idea was that we would go to students of 9^th and 10^th grades at TCF schools and provide them with career counseling. That morning we actually visited one such school in the vicinity of our campus and spoke to the students there. Most of them were kids of policemen and seemed like really hardworking children. They were willing to stay back after school to take advice from us regarding their future despite the fact that all of them had tuitions after school. In comparison to them, I felt ashamed. The kind of struggle these young children do cannot be compared to our laid-back attitude at all. Back at the workshop, we had an inspirational young speaker from MAJU named Adeel Kapasi who told us about his own project through which he helped lower the cost of food for people living in poorer parts of Karachi so that they could save and spend on better things like education and health for their children.

After all this serious talk, we had another activity where we were given a list of things, namely nail polish, cricket ball, table calendar, seasonal fruit, coin of a different country, old PKR note, picture of Salman Khan, a utility bill & a green chili. We had to find these things on campus within the next half hour as a team. So we divided the tasks and managed to get most of the things. We couldn’t get nail polish so we tried to pass of a bottle of lip gloss as a bottle of nail polish but got caught. :P This was followed by lunch and then we had an entrepreneurial activity where we had to create something from scratch using only the resources available in the room and get it sold for Rs.100! So our team quickly got hold of a carton that was lying there and managed to convert it into a multi-purpose box which we claimed could be used for decoration, for storing brochures, as a stationery box, etc. Our ‘creativity’ went under appreciated as we had a tough time selling it. There were no willing buyers. Some said they didn’t need such a box, others didn’t have the money or the space for it. Finally we managed to find one poor soul who was having lunch in his office and using emotional dialogues we were able to convince him to buy the box. But even he did not spare us the embarrassment. As he made the payment he said, ‘You can keep the box too’ and I could have died of laughter there and then! Such humiliation! :P

After lunch Dr. Saif Rehman shared enlightened us about an education related campaign by the name of ILMPOSSIBLE. According to the Facebook page, it is ‘an awareness campaign to get the word out about the government’s promise of making free of cost education available to every citizen of the country, as per Article 25 - A.’ He shared with us an interesting video too which is posted below:

The workshop drew to an end as the certificates were distributed, again in a creative way! Some of the participants took each other’s contact details to stay in touch afterwards. We bid farewell to our respected facilitator Mr. Imran Azeem and headed home with the spirit of Active Citizens infused in us.

Kartography

Eeep! Read about my book review that got published in the Karachitips blog here: http://www.karachitips.com/blog/2012/02/01/kartography/! :D

The Other Side

Whenever I used to hear anyone recount their experience of visiting an orphanage or an old age home, I would automatically be filled with respect and admiration for that person. Serving the forlorn of our society is something I consider a challenging endeavor. One needs to have the courage to face these people and give them a reason to smile and also the strength to minimize their sorrows by listening to their plight, all the while consoling them and not giving way to our own emotions. So in late 2010 when the Iqra Society planned a visit to the Edhi homes to celebrate Bakra Eid with them, I thought this was my chance to have a look at life from another perspective. I felt somehow it would change me and make me a better person if I got to know how and in what state of mind such souls of our society lived in.

A total of ten students had showed up for the cause; six boys and four girls. The turnout was not unexpected as this trip was planned on a Sunday morning. While in the point, we were all asked to donate any amount we felt we could and the process was made easy as no one was to take a look at what the other had to offer, just like true charity ought to be! Altogether we managed to collect Rs. 4,500.

Our first stop was at Metro Supermarket where two or three of us got off to buy fruits, vegetables and other snacks for the men, women and children we were going to visit. Less than an hour later, we were on our way to the Edhi homes with the eatables. The boys got off at the Edhi home for men at Sohrab Goth, taking with them some of the items we had shopped for. The point proceeded with us girls to the other Edhi home, the one for women and children, at Nagan Chorangi. Now all this time I sat anticipating what it would be like. Would they be hostile and reserved or would they welcome us cheerfully? Will they share their sad tales and would we then have to comfort them or will there be no talk of their families and their past? Maryam, a senior, had answers to these queries as she’d been on a similar trip before. She informed us of what to expect and warned us not to let loose any tears that threatened to spill forth. We had to remain composed as we were there to console them, to celebrate with them and to make them feel special.

Soon we reached our destination. We got off and had the bags carried inside which contained food and candy for the residents here. We met up with the in-charge as well as other female staff who briefed us about what to expect and how to react. It impressed me to see a lady nurse, so well-educated and well-mannered, who had dedicated herself to the noble cause of serving the desolate.

We were ushered inside and saw at the entrance some women sorting through huge piles of clothes. We were told all these had been received by Mr. Edhi as donations and the women here were trying to match as many pairs of clothing as they could. It was heartening to see that the spirit of charity is still strong among our countrymen as the clothes were in abundance!

We dropped off our belongings in a room and were soon ready to meet them. What lay ahead was a long wide corridor with rooms on the right side. On the left side were windows out of which we were able to see a huge ground outside where we saw many women. We were told that the mentally retarded ones were kept here, separate from the others, for safety purposes. Inside the hall children and young women roamed around freely. Upon seeing us, the little girls rushed eagerly to surround us and greet us. We spoke to them, got to know their names and distributed candy among them.

Then we entered a room where very young children were being looked after by two women. The children sat or lay on the ground.  The women in-charge here told us their names and informed us about why some of them were here. Personally, this was the most painful part as these children were abandoned by their families just because they suffered from some sort of defect. A blind child, a mentally challenged one, a child physically handicapped. How were they at fault? How could a parent part with their child so mercilessly simply because he had a malfunctioning body? Had they not heard of Helen Keller? Could hope be given up so easily? These children were here because of no fault of their own and I wished I could stay here with them only for the rest of the day.  Unfortunately, this could not be so therefore we distributed candy to the children whose eyes shone as they smiled and reached out to shake our hands.

We moved on ahead where a long line of women sat on the left hand side. We met them one by one, wished them a happy Eid and asked them how they had celebrated. They enthusiastically talked about what clothes they wore and showed us their matching bangles and their hands and feet decorated with mehndi. It was heartwarming to see that these women were well taken care of and had gotten to celebrate Eid in its full spirit.

When we reached the end of this hall, we were escorted through another small gate and beyond this we saw old, physically challenged women inside rooms and this too was an overwhelming sight. We couldn’t go on anymore as some of us felt we wouldn’t be able to bear the emotions of sorrow that had swelled up at this point. So here we took a U-turn and made our way back for the entrance, along the way saying farewell to all the women we’d met earlier. The children followed us and we passed around more candy and snacks when we reached the end. At this point, even the women in the ground outside were at the windows, thrusting their hands through the bars to receive some of the goodies. One box after another was opened as it was made sure that the items were handed out to as many people as possible.

Here we said our final goodbye then made our way to the reception area where we wrote our comments in the visitors’ log. We then got into the point, picked the guys from the other center and made our way back to campus. Along the way we shared stories about the different kinds of people we’d encountered. It was saddening to hear about how there were some seemingly well-off people too who had been deserted by their families.

For sure this will be one of the most memorable experiences I’ve had. Often at night I think about the women and children we got to meet, how life is for them and all this results in me being appreciative of all the favors God Almighty has blessed me with. Even if we hadn’t taken along the material goods that we had, I feel we would’ve still been welcomed with the same enthusiasm. We can always go speak to them a kind word, listen to them and comfort them and this too would be regarded as charity. I feel one trip is not enough and events of such sort need to be planned regularly so that we are always reminded of how all the things we have taken for granted are actually God-gifted blessings. Nevertheless, kudos to the Iqra Society for organizing an event that proved to be so uplifting.

Clarification

Ok so just to get things straight, that last post was just a parable. It wasn't a suicide note. In fact suicide is the last thing on my mind.

Wait a minute. That made sense. 

I mean to say suicide is definitely not on my list of things to do. Stairway to hell? No thank you!

The Leap of Faith

Its one of those times in life again. When you're standing at the edge of a cliff but you're unsure of whether to turn around and go back to your world or to take a step forward and fall into the sea below. Though you dream to fly, you know you can't. You have no wings. There is no third option.

The world behind you is beckoning. But it is not inviting, like the sea down below. The height where you choose to stay will give you an air of superiority. An air that will cloud your rationality and will strangle you eventually. The fall will bring you down, humble you.

What will it be? Walk back or take the leap of faith?

You weigh the alternatives.

The world above. With you on the cliff. Behind you, around you. It calls your name in a voice that is too sweet to be true. You know it is just an illusion meant to deceive. Once you go back, you'll still be on your own. And to survive, you'll have to pick up their ways and walk with them. Even though you don't believe them. Pretty soon you'll be back at the cliff. Tired and confused again.

The sea below. It can heal for it is made of your own tears. Each time the waves crash into the rocks below, they call your name too but the sound is promising. It is true. The blue water is refreshing to look at. Close to the horizon, the sun glistens with hope. Once you make the dive, all worries will be taken away. Your skin and clothes will be rinsed clean of the dirt they've been carrying. Afterwards, it is up to you. Stay down there forever or stay for a while then begin the climb back up again.

And if you climb back up again, then it will all repeat itself. You'll be on the cliff again. Making the same decision. How many more times must you take the fall before you learn that it is better to stay down? And every time you make the climb, you fear that you'll be so exhausted from it all that you'll walk back to the world whenever you find yourself back on the cliff.

And you're afraid that one day you might not find the sea below. Just rocks.

Photo courtesy: Google and my imagination

To Do List (cont.)

These are most like daydreams I’ve chased. I liked imagining things.

Be an architect. There was a time when I was so fascinated with physics and mathematics that I wanted to grow up to work in a field which involved both. Back then, I wanted to be an architect more than anything. Getting to listen to clients, making pencil-drawings of what they'd like (of course there would be CAD but the sound of a sharp pencil on paper is divine) and then finally building it as they want it. Spending all my time in this beautiful combination of art, math and science, making people's dreams come true. Utter bliss.

Climb Mount Everest. Yes I've wanted to be a climber too, following in the footsteps of Sir Edmund Hillary. Um, literally. To see the world from such a height, shielding yourself from the blistering cold, having frost bites (up to second degree only :p) on your nose tip, cheeks and hands. The thrill of the upward ascent and the fear of not being able to find your way back down the treacherous path, having the knowledge that so many people have died on this same quest! It makes me shudder (out of excitement, not the cold).

Build a country: Yumnaistan. Who wouldn't want his own country? Mine was to be on an island, far away from the rest of the world. The citizens would be my own friends and family and their friends and family and their..Oh wait, that makes it the whole world. I'll just limit it to people who want to distance themselves from the world as it is today. The deceitful world that runs entirely against what we've been taught in our childhood. So the citizens would be people who'd like to start life anew, who want to live life according to the noble principles taught by our religion. People who want to be different, in a good way. And this country would prosper because it would please God. When other countries see our progressing economy and the high levels of satisfaction and happiness prevalent in our country, they would offer to join hands. One by one they would join us and together we would rinse the world of all its evilness. 

Play for the WNBA: Ever since my first encounter some ten years ago with basketball, I've been in love with the game. The sound of a basketball being dribbled on the wooden court and the sound of it passing through the net with its elegant swoosh are both ecstatic. My first introduction to this game was at school in New York City. It seemed to be the sport of choice and pretty soon I too had developed a liking for this game. My brother and I would often play in the parks there. Later when we moved to Ohio, we even bought our own basketball. How I miss it now! One of my favorite memories is of a time when my brother and I had taken on a couple of kids in a 2-on-2 game at the local park. When I had stopped dribbling and was looking to make a pass to my brother, one of the kids dared me to shoot from where I was at the three-point line. Since I had no other choice (both the kids were covering my brother and it was impossible to pass), I made the shot and the ball went in with such grace I could've cried tears of joy.

Such was my passion for the sport that I even tried out for the girls basketball team at middle school. Practice was real tough as the coach made us sprint and do various drills. Another favorite memory is of the time when I was standing at half court and one of the girls asked me to shoot from there and I did. Once again, the ball went in effortlessly as we all (including myself :p) looked on in awe. Too bad the team uniform was not appropriate for a person with my cultural/religious background. Otherwise, I would have been in the WNBA by now. :p